The heated issue of Permission

Where and why did this notion start that energy healers have to ask for permission to send love and healing? I am constantly amazed at the strong beliefs people hold around this issue.


In May 2008, I led a Quantum-Touch workshop in Pretoria. This workshop was organized for me by a few people at a Healing Centre in Waterkloof. They wanted to learn Quantum-Touch but didn’t want to travel to Rivonia. I was so pleased to have this set up for me.. no hassles with getting participants together, no organizing – just turn up and run the workshop. Easy. Felt a bit like I’d arrived!


I turned up at the venue at 8.15, to set up before the workshop started at 9 am. The lady who opened the door looked really sleepy and said in a surprised voice, “You’re really early?”.  I started feeling slightly uncomfortable and unwelcome then… because I did asked Anteonet (who did all the organizing) to make sure it’s ok for me to come early to set up.

Downhill from here...


Things went from uncomfortable to simply ridiculous. The host started clearing books and junk, while I was uncomfortably bringing my workshop supplies into her home. She got her gardener to bring chairs to the workshop room while I’m thinking… “surely she knew we’d be sitting on chairs – why only do it 30 minutes before the workshop starts?”


I won’t even mention the number of times she argued with the material I was teaching. By the end of the first day I was absolutely dreading going back in the morning…. I felt like I was going to walk into the lion’s den when I walked back into her house. Andrew assured me he’d gladly give up what he was planning to do with his Sunday to go and assist me. However, I had the sense that this is MY dragon to slay and I have to face my fear of confrontation.


Sunday morning of a QT workshop is normally quite exciting AND challenging because I teach the Law of Attraction Principles and Distant Healing.. and include the topic of getting permission to do distant healing work. I normally open the floor for discussion first to get the participants opinions (which are their beliefs about it – and normally passed on from a previous energy healing teacher).  Then I give them some of my ideas which mainly stem from Richard Gordon and Gary Craig and some careful thought.

Heated discussion


This particular Sunday I already knew this discussion was going to be heated because of all the challenges the day before. True to form, the workshop host frowned throughout the entire discussion and at some point, with incredulous look on her face, interjected with, “Is the point of telling us all this that you’re allowed to do Distant Healing without permission?”


Her belief is that at no point ever is there a good enough reason to send any kind of healing to anyone if they’d not expressly given permission.  Her further belief is that the group intention is far more powerful than the free will of an individual – hence a person’s free will can be ‘overriden’ so to speak, by a group with a different intention. The way she put though, is that hers was THE ABSOLUTE TRUTH – not an opinion or belief.


What made the discussion even more complicated was the fact that she kept reminding us that she has the added benefit of being able to ‘see’ energy… and therefore no-one else’s arguments or opinions could possibly be valid.


I’m normally the extreme peace-maker but this time found it very hard to keep quiet. I made it clear that from my view, there is no one absolute truth…. Every person is allowed to make up his or her own mind about the validity of having to get permission for distant healing.

Permission - what's the issue really?


My personal view is that people make ‘permission’ an unnecessarily big issue. If we think negative thoughts about a person, we never ask permission first. When we think positive thoughts about a person, we hardly ask for permission first. When we pray for someone, we hardly find it necessary to ask their permission first. Our first instinct as human beings is normally to try and help when a loved one is hurt.


There is always the trap of the ego, though… When I want to do distant healing to prove to someone else that Quantum-Touch works, there’s a little red flag. That’s ego stuff. When I want someone else to be healthier in order for ME to feel better, there’s another little red flag. In my opinion, it all revolves around the energy with which we are doing something. Can I manage to send the healing and just step back and let go of the outcome? That’s a green flag! Run the energy and let go – let the person who I’m sending the energy to, be the one to decide whether it’s useful to them or not.


I cannot believe for one single second that my sending energy with a healing intention, could possibly override the free will of another being. That would mean that we’re constantly at risk of being the victim of others’ intentions and energies. I simply don’t believe that another person’s intention can override what my Higher Self has in mind for me and this lifetime.


I still had much to mull over after this heated discussion and a few weeks later something happened that gave me some more clarity.

Insight after watching a man die


We were at my husband’s 30 year reunion. On the Saturday afternoon, next to the rugby field, one of the school’s Old Boys, 52 years of age, had a heart-attack. His wife and son were both there. The school paramedics did everything they could… they did CPR for a full 45 minutes. A doctor was present amongst the school parents. He helped to administer adrenaline, did the necessary with an oxygen pipe down his trachea and monitored the patient’s progress. They called 2 ambulances – and not one of them turned up in time. Andrew and I were standing about 5 metres away, doing distant healing for him.


After 45 minutes, the doctor ordered the paramedics to stop the CPR. The man was pronounced dead. I was feeling pretty upset – this was the first time I’d witnessed someone die. The worst was to see his wife and son so torn up and in shock.


I had plenty of food for thought that night. As I lay in bed, trying to fall asleep with racing thoughts, I suddenly had a new thought. It occurred to me that no doctor or medical person EVER asks for permission before helping another in need. They simply jump in and start doing what they’re trained to do.


In this case, 5 medical people were trying their utmost for a full 45 minutes to save this man’s life. Two energy healers were standing closeby, sending energy with the best of intentions and loving thoughts. None of them made the slightest difference… the man’s soul had decided it was time to leave. I doubt very, very strongly whether it would have made the slightest difference whether 20 energy healers were there, or 50 doctors. When your time has come, I don’t believe for one minute that anyone else can make a difference. We all have free will, yes – just like my QT workshop participant said – and to me, that means that no-one else could possibly (even if they wanted to, or thought they could) interfere with my destiny and with my allotted time on earth.

My own learning


That cleared it up for me. I’ll run energy when I choose to – not with the intention of changing someone else’s path. I’ll do so with the intention that it might be used for the highest good of all concerned. And that if the energy is not welcome or needed where I’m sending it, it be used for the highest good in another place.



Quality questions create a quality life. Successful people ask better questions, and as a result, they get better answers. -- Anthony Robbins

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